When tight becomes too tight – Kat’s story

The majority of women I work with as a pelvic floor coach are mums, but a significant and growing group aren’t. Kat is a woman I’ve worked who suffers with vaginismus, a condition where your vagina automatically contracts whenever penetration is attempted. This makes sex and tampon wearing unbearable.

Pelvic floor – how tight is too tight? For Kat too tight was suffering for eight years, unable to insert tampons or have sex without massive pain. Enough was enough. How did Kat get out from under? By taking action, which was was scary and liberating in equal measure.

Kat’s journey back beganwith psychosexual counselling, which worked to a point. From there, Kat consulted the fabulous White Hart Clinic. I then met Kat when she joined a group course I ran designed to help women improve their pelvic floor function. A big group of women in a small space – it can be intimidating but Kat dived straight in and shared her story on week one.

For a woman to be brave enough to enter a group setting, full of strangers, and share her story is huge. Some find it easier than others. But telling her story so early helped Kat, and helped close and supportive bonds within the group dynamic. Kat asked if I’d help her do the work, stay on track and keep up new habits to combat her issue.

One thing I was really keen to do was to change Kat’s habits around going to the loo, which is a key part of pelvic floor work. Kat runs a shop, so whenever she has to go to the loo she has to lock the doors. So she’d gotten into the habit of … well, not going. So I challenged her to …

Go to the loo twice at work

Kat accepted. She committed. She pledged it to the group. She set some reminders on her phone and followed the plan. The group – we were delighted when we got Kat’s loo updates, it not only helped to reinforce the change for Kat but gave everyone else in the group confidence that change is possible.

For Kat, the commitment — and her achievements — though a small piece of the physical puzzle, were a massively important mental breakthrough. Changing behaviour is flipping hard work – that’s why accountability (to someone you’re a little bit scared of!) and group support really does help.

“Needless to say, it was hard, but a good kind of hard. Baz makes you change up your routine to make time for yourself and because of this, I started to see small changes in my pelvic floor within six weeks. Hopefully my journey can inspire you to take the next step.”

Working with Kat reinforced to me the significant and life-changing impact this work can have. A young, sassy and capable woman owned her issue, created her dream team and did the work. It wasn’t easy – but nothing that’s worth it ever is.

Thank you Kat for sharing your story and good luck with the rest of your journey. x